F*ck the Pursuit of Happyness

Or don’t and keep a straight face! That’s an option too.

It is a normal day. You’re returning from office. You’re looking for meaningless listicles to kill time during the commute. And you spot something which makes you squint your eyes

‘20 Signs YOU are the Reason behind your Unhappiness’

“Hmm, am I?” you think as you open and start to read.

“This could be me, maybe. Yes, I do spend a lot of time alone. Umm, yes I do try to focus on being rich and successful in my career. Hey, this last one is just hitting too close to home now! I do count calories a lot!”

And now you’re reminded that you’re actually not happy. That you’re sad. And you need to change that about your life.

You try to be happy. You really try, really hard.

But- You fail to be happy.

Note, that now you have become further away from happiness. Now you’re sad for previous reasons, plus the combined pressure of having tried and failed at being happy makes you sadder.

And again you try doubly hard to achieve the happiness quotient in your life.

Da-da-daaaa! The sadness spiral beckons!

Hello sad spiral staircase, my old friend!

Now wait, don’t try to blame me for this. “Oh cmon, don’t listen to an article. How can you get so easily influenced? You’re such a loser!”

See that’s the whole point. My loser-ness becomes imminent simply because I’m not happy, despite being in a job I love, earning a salary I like, dating a boy who I’m crazy about and who in turn loves me to bits and all other happiness checklist points which the society will have me believe, lead to a happy life.

F*ck the society which will have me believe that I need to be happy in order for my life to mean something. That my relationships are only fulfilling if I’m gleeful. That my accomplishments are real only if they give me everlasting joy. That the purpose of life is to be happy.

Now, I admit- I wasn’t always this wise. In fact I quite often succumbed to the sadness spiral in my attempts to find happiness by pushing myself to try different avenues.

Happiness Memes will guide you home, and ignite your bones! Because you might want to self-immolate!

But off late, I’ve being wondering if like most societal expectations- this one might also be a one-size-doesn’t-fit-all. Maybe I have different takes on my life, my journey and my meanings.

And the brilliant outcome I have started to see is- the lesser I try to be happy, the more I get done, the more at peace I feel. Not necessarily happier, just more in my element. And that’s the truest thing I know.

I am curious, funny, sarcastic, hardworking, creative and a ton of other things. I am just not happy.

And by our own dictionary of abstract concepts, we’ve ended defining happiness as a binary state- which means admitting that I’m not happy means I’m sad.

So maybe for a while, try to live life by whatever you derive your you-ness from, even if it may not give you immediate happiness. It could be the great or the mundane- whatever it is- remember, it is OK to not be happy!