What does it mean when you hate tender coconut ice-cream?

You’ve tried an ice cream right? And if you’ve tried multiple flavours, you have a favorite too I wager? What is it?

Dark Chocolate?

More fancy? Rocky Road?

Plain vanilla?

Something fruity- strawwwwwberry?

Mine are fig and double chocolate.

I also have a flavour I hate. And that’s tender coconut. I have spend good money on it, trying to love it, like it, tolerate it — but no. 2020 is the year to finally let things go and concede defeat graciously.

So tender coconut — I am letting you go. Before I let you go though, let’s do this one last dance…

The first time I ever held a cone of tender coconut ice cream was about nine or ten summers back. My college boyfriend and I went into this shop we frequented and I was feeling exploratory. My eyes landed on this exotic sounding flavor and the decision was made. “One scoop tender coconut in a cone!”

I was not even thinking about how happy that made me. We were out of the shop smiling and laughing at some silly joke at someone else’s expense and just being invincible in a way that only teens in love can be.

I took a step ahead to cross the road and my shoe snagged in some raggedy stone in the sidewalk. I almost tripped but my biomechanics kicked into self preservation mode and saved me.

But sadly, the tender coconut scoop was not that lucky. Or maybe that’s how coconuts actually work. Because they fall. From a height. That’s their evolutionary trait.

I was holding onto the cone, and the scoop gracefully jumped out and in a perfectly parabolic line plopped onto the road. It sat there, almost Buddha-like.

It was the sudden finality of the happening that shook me. It felt like the air in my lungs was also plopped on top of the scoop on the road for three seconds. It was so undramatic, no background “NOOOOOO!”, no slow motion arc imprinted in mind, no attempt to channel my adrenaline into bravely saving the air-borne scoop. Nothing.

Snag! “Oo..” Plop.

Now, that one scoop plopping is tied up with neural synapses of other sudden finalities that have happened in the intervening years.

Break up over a text. Plop!

Job application rejection email. Plop!

Ink stains on your favourite white shirt. Ploppity plop.

And now all these anvil-drop memories are one combined…well, anvil!

So I guess what I’m really trying to say is that if you hate tender coconut ice cream, I get you! It’s ok.

Life’s put a few bumps on the sidewalks in your way. And things have met graceful trajectories to their sudden demise. Mid morning emails have dealt silent blows. And sometimes a pigeon has emptied it’s bowels on your shoulder.

You get the drift.

But hey, listen. The beauty about Ice Creams is the sheer number of flavour combinations.

If a scoop chooses to socially distance from you to its death, let it go. Go back inside the store and find your colder half. Holds true for people and places just as well.

So tender coconut will not be my go to choice EVER! But it doesn’t have to be, because I have a extravagant chocolate bubblegum tub with my name on it!

(Ice Creams in winters are such an underrated indulgence!)